Confessions of a Self Proclaimed Glutton

For those that really know me, you have heard my adventures as a pleasantly plump woman (topping the scales at 185 lbs). I summarize briefly for the rest of you. I was thin and tall all through my childhood. Upon reaching college, I decided that gaining the mandatory "freshman 15" wasn't enough and I ballooned. By the time I was 27 I had put on probably an extra 45 lbs. I was at a point in my life where my blood pressure was high and my doctor wanted to pull me off the pill in fear of me stroking out due to the weight (didn't know that weight affected the pill). Then in one summer I drastically lost the weight (and also a criminally charged ex-husband which did explain my stress eating). Anyway my life did a 180 and changed dramatically. Knock on wood, I haven't put the weight back on even though I'm a glutton.

So why do I call myself a glutton? I seem to have a problem with food. I imagine that our stomachs are like empty gas tanks and as you eat the scale notch climbs up and up and up until an alarm goes off and says "YOU ARE FULL". Well I don't believe my notch works. I can and will eat until I hurt. That hurting sensation then signals that I'm full. That is bad. Rich is really good about his notch. He can tell when he's done. I've found that when I eat with people I've begun to monitor my intake based upon them. So basically when Rich stops eating, I stop eating. This has been helpful, however when dining with really hungry people I'm in trouble. For instance eating w/the gals at Tori's baby shower (Tawnee's blogpost; Journies Around the World), I ate so much that my stomach hurt for two days. I guess I confess all of this b/c it's the holidays and I have a bit of guilt when it comes to food. I enjoy eating, but honestly I just don't know when to stop and then it's too late. Typically I try to eat really healthy so that if I do eat too much, at least it's not bad for me. So maybe this post is about my guilt and thoughts of creating a New Year's resolution on how to have more will power to cut myself off? Make my notch work? Putting this post out there for my friends and family to read will guilt me into doing a better job (b/c now I know you will be checking out my photos trying to find evidence of my gluttony). I let you know how it goes in the new year.